


Lucky Strike

by pixieyutoda



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Awkward Changgu, Clubbing, Dry Humping, Fluff, Hongseok is too beautiful for him to handle, Hongseok makes Changgu Feel Alive, Lonely Changgu, M/M, Soft boys being soft, Strangers to Lovers, Sweetheart Yang Hongseok, they live in the same apartment complex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 12:08:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16492322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixieyutoda/pseuds/pixieyutoda
Summary: “what’s your name? i’ve been calling you pretty boy in my head this whole time.”“changgu.” he manages, not at all flushed at the thought of being called ‘pretty boy’ by a handsome stranger. he says it so casually too that it sounds somewhere in between a compliment and an insult, and changgu doesn’t talk to enough people to know the difference.changgu doesn't have many friends so he resigns himself to lazing on his couch alone, watching sailor moon until it's too late to function. he meets a hungover hongseok on the fire escape a few days before his birthday. the other man becomes determined to make it a good one.





	Lucky Strike

 

 

 

the fire escape on the fifth floor feels like home to yeo changgu even though he owns an apartment on the second, a pretty nice apartment he might add, complete with puppy posters (can’t forget those) and mostly alive houseplants. sometimes when his head feels so heavy it could fall off of his shoulders, thoughts bubbling over until they explode like a can of soda that’s been shaken, he needs to be _there_.

 

he contemplated why for a very long time, if it was the air, the perfect view of a perpendicular apartment who’s tenants always watched cartoons; or if it was the way the stars smiled down at him at night. turns out it’s none of those things, but the thrill instead. of looking down a few floors and knowing that he could fall and not much would save him. realistically he knows that the fall wouldn’t be enough to kill him, maybe just put him in a neck brace and cast that his coworkers would try to draw dicks on. and it’s sort of depressing to say, he’ll never admit it out loud but it’s one of the only things that makes him feel alive.

 

sticking his phone and a pack of winterfresh gum into his back pocket, the elevator takes him up, as he chews absentmindedly on the wad already sitting heavy in his mouth. his jaw is starting to ache as the doors open but he ignores it, a skip in his step as he approaches his ‘home’ away from home. pushing the window open, he climbs through, furrowing his eyebrows when his converse digs into something squishy instead of the metal platform that he’s used to.

 

“if i wasn’t so hungover right now i’d be a little upset that you’re stepping on me.”

 

changgu recoils, the voice coming from a man? laying face down on the fire escape, hands covered in green teenage mutant ninja turtles bandaids. he’s wearing tight, _skin tight_ black jeans with paint splatters, a plain white tee stretched over broad shoulders. it takes him a few seconds to stop looking and pull his leg back, unsure what he should do next, half of his body outside of the fire escape, the other half in.

 

“i’m so so sorry!” leaves his mouth in a rush, because changgu is a polite boy and his mama raised him with manners. “i didn’t mean to crush your arm, nobody ever really comes out here but me and-”

 

“i don’t think you weigh enough to crush me, doll.” the fire escape stranger sits up, pushing a fringe of gray hair out of their eyes that sparkle with something that seems like mirth.

 

he laughs a little, not because it’s funny but because he thinks it’s supposed to be a joke and doesn’t wanna be rude. “i’m heavier than i look.” he retorts back, but it feels slightly awkward coming out of his mouth so he just leaves it at that.

 

“are you gonna come out or?” broad shoulders asks, eyes scanning the way changgu’s practically straddling the window and no it’s not at all comfortable.

 

so he fully steps in, without any further thought, standing awkwardly above the stranger who just gazes back, face twisted in some sort of smirk. after a few seconds of eye contact he huffs and plops down, legs going criss cross applesauce. it is his fire escape after all and he’ll be damned if some fella with squishy arms took that away from him. he sticks his tongue out childishly before he can second guess it, cheeks blossoming with color shortly after.

 

luckily a chuckle leaves the other’s mouth, the gray haired man raising an eyebrow, “i don’t think i’ve seen you around before.”

 

“i live on the second floor.” changgu hums, not entirely sure why he’s telling a random stranger where he lives, mama would be so disappointed. “you probably never see me because i’m either working or inside watching sailor moon.”

 

“what’s your name? i’ve been calling you pretty boy in my head this whole time.”

 

“changgu.” he manages, not at all flushed at the thought of being called ‘pretty boy’ by a handsome stranger. he says it so casually too that it sounds somewhere in between a compliment and an insult, and changgu doesn’t talk to enough people to know the difference.

 

“hongseok.” gray hair points to himself, squinting at the afternoon sun that beams down on them. that sort of smirk is still rested on his lips and changgu’s starting to wonder if he always looks that way.

 

“it’s almost 2 o’clock, how are you possibly still hungover?” he asks, drawing his knees to his chest, chin resting against them.

 

“went to the club at 1 a.m, left the club at 5 a.m, came home to my roommate fucking on our couch,” hongseok shudders a little, face scrunched in dramatic disgust, “drunk me decided it would be a good idea to sleep on the fire escape instead and woke up to you WWE stomping me out, that’s how.”

 

“you make it sound like i did it on purpose…” changgu says, just a little bit sulky, knowing for sure that hongseok was teasing him that time.

 

hongseok’s eyes seemed to glitter at that, as if his whining was entertaining, leaning in just a little bit closer. “oh you would never!” he coos, “i’m sure you’re the nicest little boy in this whole complex.”

 

“we’re like the same height.” changgu huffs, again not knowing what else to say, inwardly cursing his shitty people skills. “and how do you know i’m nice? i could just be luring you in so i can put poison in your apple sauce and steal from your apartment.”

 

“i don’t like apple sauce.” the broader man says simply, “but i did just buy a brand new ps4 for my room so if you steal from me, please leave my mario kart. it’s my one source of joy in this porta potty that we call life.” a little dramatic but that seemed to be hongseok’s forte.  

 

“who’s your favorite character?” changgu asks, as if that would determine his later theft, still chewing at now flavorless gum.

 

“bowser.” hongseok hums, holding his hand out expectant, and changgu doesn’t know what he wants but it would be rude to leave him empty handed. so he smacks a piece of gum into the center of his palm, satisfied when the other pops it into his mouth, throwing the shiny wrapper off of the ledge.

 

“don’t litter!” changgu says even after the damage has already been done, getting another soft chuckle in return.

 

“ _that’s_ how i know you’re nice, sweetheart.” hongseok smiles this time not a smirk but a full blown grin, that makes his eyes scrunch, and it’s kinda goofy but the good kind. “who’s your favorite?”

 

changgu blinks for a second, not understanding the question, “oh! i like toad, always have.”

 

“makes sense.”

 

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“you look like a toad-liker.” hongseok shrugs, blowing a big bubble just to watch it pop. it’s only when he’s peeling a little piece of leftover gum off of his face is when changgu realizes he has beautiful lips. plush and pink like little rosebuds and once he notices he can’t not-notice.

 

“i’ll take that as a compliment.” he says, cupping his own cheeks in his hands just in case he blushes ( definitely not because of hongseok or his pretty lips ).

 

 _september_ by earth, wind, and fire starts to play and it takes changgu a few seconds to realize it’s coming from hongseok’s pocket and also that it’s the other boy’s ringtone. who looks down at the caller id but doesn’t answer, shoving the device right back into where it came from.

 

“i guess i’ll see you later, pretty boy.” hongseok stands, brushing off his plant splattered jeans, and almost as if to get a reaction, he launches the gum out of his mouth into the streets below. when he turns to see changgu’s pout, he bursts into silly little giggles, extremely pleased.

 

“you’re a litterbug.” changgu says softly, roles reversed now, looking up at him under his long eyelashes.

 

“i hope that landed in someone’s hair.” hongseok’s still laughing just a little bit, thoroughly amused by changgu and it’s a good feeling to make someone laugh, a small stutter of warmth that settles into his chest. “you’re responsible for it too, you’re the one who gave me the gum.” with that he slides through the window with ease, sticking his tongue out, mimicking changgu’s earlier childishness.

 

“i wouldn’t have given it to you if i knew you were a demon.” changgu mutters to himself, doesn’t care that hongseok can hear him, given the little snort the other man makes. “see you later.” he adds, not entirely sure if he will, sort of sure that he wants to, scared of _wanting_ anything. want is a very strong word.

 

hongseok disappears into the hallways of semi-fancy apartments, loud rooms and irritable grandmas who throw a fit when music goes past the 5th dial. and changgu, he stays.

 

he stays on the fire escape until the sun sets and day blends seamlessly into night, crickets louder than ever, making sure someone’s listening to them. he thinks about the sky and if the stars ever get lonely too. he thinks about earth, wind, and fire because now september is stuck in his head on a loop, like a broken record going round and round. he thinks about making friends for the first time in a long time. he doesn’t necessarily hate the idea.

 

________________

 

when 12:00 a.m hits changgu’s sitting in his kitchen, stuffing mouthfuls of a marble birthday cake into his face. he’s turning twenty two and that should be really exciting but it’s like watching a movie in black and white with no sound. it’s colorless and dull because he has no one to celebrate birthdays with and hasn’t for the past two years. he’s stopped being bitter about it and the sour taste it used to leave in his mouth has been replaced with indifference and sugar.

 

instead he eats his own weight in cake and vanilla icing, washing the overwhelmingly sweet taste away with rum and coke. he’s in his early twenties still and that seems like the best time to drink too much and stop caring about foods with any kind of nutritional value. yeah his organs will probably hate him later but it’s satisfying in the moment.

 

he’s knocking back his second glass when a piercing siren floods the outside of the apartment, and he chokes, spit-taking alcohol all over the island. he creeps to door and looks through the peephole, gasping as he watches his neighbors hurriedly exit their doors. he follows suit immediately although he has no clue what’s going on.

 

by the time he’s rushing out of the lobby with everybody else he overhears the words “small fire” and “popcorn” which shouldn’t freak him out as bad as it does. it took him less than thirty seconds to get down the steps and takes even less to maneuver into the parking lot. he stares up at the tall complex, observing quietly. no giant flames in the windows or black pillowing smoke rising from the roof, he was going to live another day it seems.

 

what a shame, he thinks, scuffing the bottom of his elmo slippers against the tarmac. dying on his birthday would’ve made a cool story to tell in heaven. see, he knows for sure that he isn’t going to hell. he may have “committed a lot of sins” including being gay, drinking way too much, stealing a giftcard in 5th grade not realizing they had to be charged with money first, etc. but he’s been so good about everything else, god can make an exception. he may not have any friends but he’s a good person, or at least he tells himself that.

 

“you look really cold.” a voice comes from his right making changgu jump and almost trip over the bike rack behind him.

 

hongseok has a firetruck red beanie pulled over his head, round glasses falling down the bridge of his nose. he hums as he pulls the leather jacket he’s donning off, draping it over changgu’s shoulders before he can blink. he hadn’t even noticed that he’s shivering harshly, had left his apartment in only a sleeveless shirt, goosebumps raised all over his arms.

 

“thank you.” his tone is soft and genuinely grateful, pulling the jacket closer around himself. it smells warm somehow, like a humid summer day, smokey and floral at the same time and he likes it.

 

“no problem.” hongseok shrugs even though the short sleeved black t-shirt he’s wearing doesn’t seem like it’s enough to keep him from freezing too. “think of it as a thank you for waking me up the other day. i completely forgot i had shit to do.”

 

“you’re thanking me for...stepping on you?” changgu tilts his head, small giggles leaving him in disbelief.

 

“yeah why not.”

 

hongseok is really handsome, changgu realizes, just standing there looking at his side profile. his eyes are bright and triangular, they remind him of a cat’s though not as sharp or as calculating. hongseok just seems calm, at ease, like the buildings around them could crash down and he’d still be stood there, hands in his pockets, unphased.

 

it’s a nice change. changgu really only interacts with his coworkers and they’re all loud and obnoxious. it feels more like a frat than a record shop and the only thing that keeps him there is his passion for music and his employee discount on vinyls.

 

when people start flooding back into the apartments, crisis solved or averted, the staff don’t really mention what the issue was in the first place, changgu starts to follow the crowd.

 

“hey, pretty.” hongseok calls, and changgu whips around in surprise, pointing at himself like he refuses to believe hongseok would be talking to him. “yeah you, do you wanna hang out?”

 

“hang out…” changgu repeats slowly, words tasting foreign in his mouth because it’s been a long time since anyone’s asked him to do so.

 

“do you?” hongseok asks again, walking forwards so they’re side by side, bumping into his shoulder playfully. “i know it’s late but my roommate’s gone for the night and i could use the company.”

 

changgu must have a mix of something like confusion and panic on his face because hongseok bursts into laughter holding his hands out in front of himself in defense.

 

“that wasn’t like a line, i’m not tryna lure you into my apartment to seduce you or something.” hongseok pauses briefly, looking changgu up and down. “well i mean, i’m not trying to do that _right now._ i just really wanted to hang out, you’ve-how should i say this? captured my interest.”

 

changgu blushes and then blushes some more, cursing his red ears in his head. on the outside his eyes are just wide, blinking like he’s in shock before he snaps out of it, going for something more chill, trying to be like hongseok.

 

“yeah sure, dude.” he tacks that on at the end, hates it, he’s never been a ‘sup man, hey bro’ kind of guy. he’s more of an awkward waver, says hi too many times then trips kind of guy instead. “what do you wanna do?”

 

“okay one, never call me dude again that sounded so weird coming out of your mouth.” hongseok chuckles, as he leads them through the lobby and into the elevator. “i figured we could play some games? or maybe watch a movie? do you like studio ghibli?”

 

“ponyo?” changgu perks up, rocking back and forth on his heels at the thought of watching one of his favorite movies.

 

“ah a man of taste.” hongseok stops in front of his apartment, unlocking it so fast changgu doesn’t even see him pull a key out. “welcome to my humble abode.”

 

the apartment is very hongseok-esque and not at the same time. the first thing changgu notices is the giant bean bag in the middle of the living room in place of a couch, looking like it could suck up changgu’s whole body in one go. there’s lots of photos hung up, a whole wall dedicated to polaroids, a giant rubix cube in the corner. it looks very much so like a space for two young adults, and it makes changgu feel boring. his apartment pales in comparison.

 

“it’s pretty sick isn’t it?” hongseok beams with pride, pointing out all his little marvel figurines on the shelf next to the kitchen island. “my roommate works at cons and always manages to bring me back something each time. some of them are limited edition and he got them for free like you can you believe?”

 

it’s endearing watching hongseok go on and on about his figures for the next three minutes, all lit up like a kid on christmas morning. it’s a break in the other man’s calm suave exterior, changgu wants to see more of it.

 

“are you hungry?” hongseok asks, as they look around for a bit longer, one in awe, the other in calm excitement. “we just went grocery shopping, i can whip us up something really quick.”

 

changgu protests and hongseok insists, shushing him until he has no choice but to agree. so he sits there and watches hongseok make them chicken alfredo, whipping it up easily like he’s done it dozens of times. it tastes better than changgu was expecting it to, and he finishes half of his plate only 15 minutes into the movie. besides the cake he had eaten earlier he’d never had an actual dinner and he scrapes his plate clean, wiping the side of his lips with a napkin.

 

“this was a pretty cool way to spend my birthday.” he says absentmindedly, sipping water through the crazy straw hongseok had given him. out of a pack of 12. right next to a cabinet full of tinker bell mugs.

 

“it’s your birthday?” the gray haired man almost chokes, eyes popping out of his head.

 

“yup.”

 

“why didn’t you tell me?” hongseok lightly taps his thigh, a reprimand, and he doubles over, pretending to cry out in pain.

 

“i dunno.” he ends up shrugging. “my birthday isn’t really a big deal, it never is. i just buy myself some cake, go ham on it and pass out. my gift to myself is just getting to sleep in.”

 

“but birthdays are the one day of the year where you get to do whatever you want and no one can call you out on it!” hongseok bounces, making changgu topple off of the bean bag. “you didn’t want to have a party or anything?”

 

“even if i did it wouldn’t matter,” changgu hates how cryptic and depressing his own voice sounds. it’s like recording a video, hearing yourself talk and wondering _wow is that really what i sound like to other people? disgusting._  “no one to invite.”

 

“you could’ve invited me.” hongseok frowns, sulky and sweet, and changgu can tells he means it. that he probably would’ve showed up with balloons and streamers if changgu had let him.

 

he pulls changgu back onto the bean bag and his hands are so strong, arms flexing with the motion. it seems way too easy for him to lift a whole grown man and changgu lands with an ‘oof!’, ends up half sprawled across hongseok’s lap.

 

“well if you wanted to cuddle you could’ve just said so.” hongseok waggles his eyebrows and gets a hit to the chest for his troubles. it definitely wasn’t because changgu wanted to feel that muscled pec under his palm, not at all.

 

either way he would be an idiot not to find hongseok attractive, with his button nose and plump lips, insane body proportions. he feels his face start to go red and pushes himself up, sticking his tongue out at hongseok just like the first time they met. hongseok returns the favor almost immediately and they both giggle like little kids.

 

________________

 

a loud patterned knock raps at his door and changgu wakes up with a start, the alarm clock by his head reading 1:30. he had gotten home from hongseok’s at 3 a.m the night before after a movie and three rounds of mario kart, exhausted and yet still smiling. he groans in frustration, angrily flailing around on his sheets because all he really wanted was to sleep in.

 

trudging to door he swings it open with a grunt, not caring that’s he’s shirtless and wearing monster’s inc pajama pants, hair sticking up at all kinds of angles.

 

hongseok is standing there, looking so good changgu wants to hide under his coffee table and never come back out. he lets out a tiny squeak and brings his arms up to cover his chest but the damage has already been done.

 

“is that a tattoo?” hongseok grins, looking absolutely pleased with himself, peering at changgu’s waist with no shame whatsoever.

 

“maybe.” he mumbles, shuffling to the couch to shove a hoodie he had abandoned amongst the cushions on, pulling the drawstrings tight. most of his face is covered, only his eyes, nose and lips peeking out, cheeks squished from the bunched up fabric.

 

“cute.” hongseok says when he sees him, stepping into changgu’s apartment like he owns the place. he’s wearing a black beret, a silky soft cream-colored button down pulled tight over his chest, those same round glasses perched on his nose. he looks like coffee flavored ice cream, skin the color of light salted caramel. changgu bites his bottom lip, pulls, looks away.

 

“not to sound like a dick but why are you here?” his voice is still raspy from sleep and he rubs his eyes, trying to discreetly get rid of any eye boogers. he starts to walk to the kitchen and hongseok follows, taking a seat at the table without a word.

 

changgu opens the fridge and gulps down some orange juice, straight from the carton, of course. living on his own had some benefits.

 

“well last night you were telling me how you don’t do much for your birthday.” hongseok starts, batting his eyelashes dramatically when changgu looks his way. “but that’s seems so boring and honestly kind of sad. i think everyone deserves to have that one birthday that’s magical and special and you never want it to end because you’re having so much fun.”

 

“but-”

 

“let me finish!” hongseok whines, leaning over to pull changgu’s drawstrings tighter, shutting him up momentarily. “i think you deserve a birthday like that. so originally i was gonna take you to 22 spots for your 22nd birthday but i couldn’t think of that many places so we’re going to 5.”

 

“but!” he continues on, “they’re some of my favorite places in the city and i really want to share them with you, i think you’ll like them.”

 

his eyes are big and glittering, all puppy like, trying to convince changgu to go along with whatever plans he has in mind. he wants to say no, because even though hongseok is nice, he’s still a sort-of stranger and changgu doesn’t trust easily. he’s not sure if he’ll have a good time and that worries him. doesn’t want to hurt hongseok’s feelings or pretend to have fun all night.

 

on the other hand it’s one of the nicest gestures anyone has done for him in a while. and the thought of hongseok trying to desperately to think of twenty two places to take him and giving up is cute. he’s also curious about what the gray haired man’s favorite spots in the city are. he wants to learn more about him. favorite foods, songs, likes and dislikes, all that jazz.

 

he remembers hongseok saying that changgu captured his interest, he knows that those feelings are very much so reciprocated. besides he hasn’t done much but watch anime and order take-out the past evenings of his birthdays. it’ll be nice to get out for once, to let the stress roll off of his shoulders and just enjoy being alive.

 

he wants to feel alive again. he doesn’t want to forget what it’s like.

 

“okay.” he finally replies, watching hongseok’s eyes go round with shock. hongseok’s confident smile is attractive but seeing his pure excitement or genuine surprise is what makes changgu melt a little inside.

 

“really?” hongseok’s voice is higher pitched in joy, hands raised in the air. “because you really don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

 

“i want to.” changgu is reaching across the table, squeezing his shoulder before he even realizes it. “thank you.”

 

“no problem!” the legs on the chair squeak when he quickly stands up, exuberant as ever. “i’ll let you get ready and stuff.” he can feel him eyeing his pajama pants. “i’ll be back in an hour!”

 

when the door slams behind hongseok, changgu lets out the breath he’s been holding. it’s only five places, he tells himself, just in case this whole thing goes wrong. even it does, he’s tired of feeling so empty all the time. maybe this is what he needs to feel slightly whole again.

 

________________

 

“we’re getting lunch?” changgu guesses, as they walk down winding cobblestone alleys, pretty little streets in the middle of the city.

 

“yup!” hongseok pokes his tummy with an index finger, laughing when changgu jumps and almost stumbles over his own two feet. “i heard your stomach growl like 15 minutes ago.”

 

“i’m starving.” as soon as he says it he realizes how true it is, his stomach almost aching at the thought of food. he didn’t have time to eat anything beforehand, spent 30 minutes overthinking things in the shower so the next half an hour was just him rushing to put on something that didn’t make him look ridiculous.

 

hongseok just smiles, wraps an arm around his shoulder and steers him into a little restaurant. it’s colorful, bright orange booths and blue tables, checkered floors and big circular lights hanging from the ceiling. it’s vivid but not too much, it makes changgu feel like he’s stepped into some futuristic timeline where everything is full of color.

 

it smells absolutely mouthwatering. sweet and sour, buttery and tangy like freshly baked bread and barbecue. changgu rubs the corner of his sleeve against his lip just in case he’s started to drool. there’s only a handful of people in the eatery besides them so they’re seated and served drinks quickly, and it feels so casual, calming almost. changgu quickly learns why this is one of hongseok’s favorite places.

 

hongseok insists on ordering for him so changgu lets him, smiling at his excited hums as he explains he doesn’t even have to flip through the menu. he’s been there too many times, knows what’s good. it’s a tradition, every sunday he’ll go and have a meal, no matter the time, no matter who he’s with. it’s his “good luck dinner” before starting a new week, hoping those feelings of good fortune will carry out through the next 7 days. at this point he’s already eaten half of the entrees they have.

 

when their waitress comes back she smiles too wide, obviously eyeing hongseok’s arms where his sleeves are pushed up to the elbows. it shouldn’t make a small spark of something like possessiveness twist in his gut because him and hongseok are just friends, if that. they’ve only been acquaintances for less than a week, changgu knows that but it doesn’t stop him from feeling _something_. he pushes it down, handing her his menu without even looking. discreetly watching as she boldy grazes her fingers against hongseok’s hand when he passes her his own.

 

“am i crazy or was that waitress looking at me like i was a piece of meat?” hongseok points out when she’s long gone into the kitchens, of course he noticed, sharp eyes observant.

 

“why? you want her number?’ changgu tries to joke, sipping his water so fast he almost chokes around his straw.

 

hongseok pulls an overly dramatic disgusted face, nose scrunching like he’s smelled something foul. “no thank you. can i write ‘big disorderly gay’ on my forehead in sharpie instead?”

 

he whispers “watch this, watch this!” under his breath when the waitress approaches twenty minutes later with their food, all giddy like a kid with a handful of chocolate and secrets.

 

abruptly he grabs hold of changgu’s hands, so fast that the warmth of hongseok’s own on his doesn’t register for a good five seconds. hongseok’s face is pulled in an elaborate pout, eyes glinting in a way that changgu’s only seen once. it’s a smug little look, the same satisfied aura that radiated off of him when he spit his gum into the streets below them that day on the fire escape. hongseok is a trickster and now he’s playing a game.

 

“oh darling,” he drawls, rubbing his soft cheek against changgu’s knuckles, like a cat nuzzling in for pets, “happy anniversary, i’m so happy we got to go out for once.”

 

changgu gulps, feeling suddenly too hot for comfort, eyes locked on hongseok’s fingers gripping his, squishy face pressed firmly against them. hongseok burns hot like he’s all molten lava on the inside, personal heater instead of human.

 

hongseok makes a show of slowly kissing the back of changgu’s hand, making eye contact with him the whole time and it burns through his body like a match being lit. he’s not cold at all but he has to hold back the urge to shudder violently. his lips make a soft smooching sound, plush and soft where they’re lingering.

 

“maybe we can do some more... celebrating later, hmm?” hongseok says that louder than he needs to before letting go as their table becomes full of food. “i liked it when you tied me up that one time-”

 

their waitress sets everything down with a burning red face, knocking the pepper shaker off by accident, almost dropping it again as she retrieves it. it shouldn’t satisfy him but it does, watching her stutter out an ‘enjoy your meal’ and scutter off like a pup with their tail between their legs.

 

“problem solved.” hongseok grins, the real genuine one that makes his eyes look like little crescent moons.

 

and changgu’s no astronomer but in that moment he wishes to be the earth. if only so hongseok could orbit around him and smile with that light once more.

 

________________

 

“this is a park.” changgu says blankly, eyes roaming around the scenery, swing sets, monkey bars and all.

 

“it’s not just a park.” hongseok rolls his eyes, pulling him towards the slides and they crush up close together at the bottom. it’s more comfortable than it looks. “it’s my favorite one. there’s something real special about it, just look.”

 

so changgu stops and just looks for a second, paying all his attention to the little details he missed in his initial surveillance. it’s empty surprisingly, no screaming children or joggers running with their dogs, just them and their legs intertwined atop the plastic.

 

it’s a blooming spring day, trees covered in the budding heads of flowers, bursts of pink, purple and white peeking out to say hello. there’s writing, an array of little drawings and such all over the park equipment.

 

when he turns his head to the left the slide reads “kill yourself” in all caps probably courtesy of some edgy middle schooler who played way too many rpg games. but there’s also a squiggly doodled penguin and a rainbow, a random phone number and a game of tic tac toe imprinted forever in sharpie, so it’s not all bad.

 

“the number’s real.” hongseok peers over his shoulder, breath fanning against changgu’s cheek and it finally registers in his mind how close they are. “i called it once and it was just one of those prank numbers that are made to scare the shit out of you.”

 

“did it give you nightmares?” changgu teases, a soft coo-like sound and he doesn’t know where this playful side of himself is coming from. can’t really tell if it’s always been a part of him or not.

 

“yeah i had to sleep with the lights on for a few days.” hongseok says seriously, a little furrow between his eyebrows and changgu can tell he’s being genuine. it’s adorable, changgu doesn’t want it to be but it is. hongseok looks like honey in the sunlight.

 

“poor baby.” he pinches his cheek because he can’t help himself, tries not to overthink the way hongseok’s cheeks puff up even further with his smile, eyes twinkling.

 

“wanna draw something?” hongseok suggests, pulling a thin marker out of god knows where, cap already taken off like decided before he even asked. ( because do you want to? means _i want to and i’m gonna do it anyways but i want to include you still_ in hongseok language apparently ).

 

“like what?”

 

“...” hongseok thinks really hard for about thirty seconds before he lights up, bending himself in half to reach the spot he wants to mark. changgu can’t see what’s he’s doodling because the head of gray hair is blocking his view but when hongseok sits back changgu bursts into happy chuckles.

 

it’s toad, mushroom hat, vest and all and it makes changgu so unbearably happy like he wants to burst into song the way characters always do in animated disney films. he doesn’t of course but it makes him feel _that_ giddy, a reminder of their first ever conversation.

 

it wasn’t that long ago but changgu thinks if a week or so goes by and hongseok realizes he’s not worth whatever this friendship is; if he suddenly decides he doesn’t want to hang out with changgu anymore or invite him to his floor to play mario kart at midnight, that moment will be the one he remembers most.

 

hongseok’s glittering eyes as he made changgu blush, the way he threw his head back when changgu made him laugh. the way changgu had kept humming under his breath long after the other man left. he doesn’t want to lose that memory.

 

the tiny drawing of toad is insignificant to the rest of the drawings on the slide, insignificant in the general scale of the world but it means to much to him. it’s there, in thick lines that he can run his fingers over, tangibile. he can’t forget it now. when hongseok hands him the marker he doesn’t even hesitate to etch bowser onto the surface.

 

it’s really ugly.

 

he notices before he’s even halfway done but keeps sketching, finishing with a triumphant ‘ta daa’. hongseok doesn’t call him out for his goofy looking drawing just pulls his phone out of his pocket to take a picture. like he wants to remember too.

 

________________

 

their third location is much different from the first two. hongseok leads him through twisting alleys and backroads decorated with yellow string lights and hanging lanterns. the buildings aren’t much to look at at first, but there’s something magical about them. there’s big pots on balconies holding bright begonias and happy daffodils, ivy twisting around roofs.

 

the brick buildings have multiple levels and all the ones on the first are quaint little shops, moving upwards they seem like apartments. too personal and cozy-looking not to be. they’re all pale hues, robin’s egg blue, blush red, and light banana yellow. it’s like he’s flipping through a picture book, the scenery in front of him like watercolor.

 

changgu wonders if all of hongseok’s favorite places seem mundane at first glance, if their charming point is that the longer you stare the more beautiful they become. he wonders if hongseok sees beauty in all the little things that other people don’t even notice. he wonders if hongseok sees any of that in him.

 

“i found this place by accident.” hongseok explains, holding changgu’s wrist to keep him close. it’s almost protective in a way, like hongseok knows something about the area that changgu doesn’t. it doesn’t seem sketchy but it’s practically hidden in the middle of too many twists and turns, rights and lefts like the center of a maze. maybe hongseok doesn’t want to lose him in it. “a witch owns it.”

 

“an actual witch?” changgu’s voice conveys just how doubtful he is, echoing through the pretty much empty streets. “or like, just a old lady who says suspicious things and tells you she can read your future because she’s a tiny bit crazy?”

 

“maybe she’s a little bit of both?” hongseok tilts his head, shrugging like it’s unimportant. “that’s not the cool part though. she has a cat that grants wishes.”

 

changgu doesn’t bother stopping and gaping at what seems to be a ridiculous statement on hongseok’s part. instead he takes it in stride because he knows now when hongseok is teasing and when he’s being authentic. this time he’s being the latter.

 

changgu doesn’t know if he believes in wishes and magic. if making wishes when you blow your candles out come true, if they do when a shooting star passes or when you throw a coin into a fountain. it seems like a waste of time, a waste of hope.

 

he doesn’t tell hongseok this and they keep walking until they enter the little shop, assaulted with the smell of sandalwood and bergamot. it’s completely purple with red undertones, so cluttered like everything has a specific place, like nothing can be moved or the balance is all off.

 

there’s a wall full of only mirrors, some small and round, others with shapes changgu can’t even name, frames bold and chipping at the corners. he sees himself in the reflection, all red cheeks, eyes wide and glossy almost like he’s so happy every feature on his face has to show it. it’s weird, he thinks, it’s like looking at himself for the first time.

 

the witch isn’t there to greet them so they’re alone with the shelves holding bottles of strange liquid, bird cages with no birds, swinging chimes. it’s pretty in a confusing way, like it shouldn’t be with all it’s disorganization and stains on the rug that look a little too much like blood. but it is.

 

the crystals, some small, others large and hefty come in all different kinds of colors and patterns and changgu finds himself drawn to one particular. it’s aventurine as the label underneath it reads, a small smooth little thing, pale green like an island’s sea, swirling with something changgu can’t name.

 

“look there’s the cat!” hongseok squeals besides his ear and changgu flinches back, almost knocking a whole shelf over. hongseok’s arm slides around his waist and pulls him in before he can do any damage, fingers pressing deeply into his hip bone. his touch burns.

 

there is a cat sitting up upon a bookshelf gazing at them, tail swishing lazily behind itself. their eyes are two different colors, one blue, the other green, a chubby orange little thing, it reminds changgu of garfield.

 

“you should make a wish.” hongseok breathes, his arm going back to its rightful place at his side but changgu swears he can still feel him. “just make eye contact with the cat and ask for something. just don’t say it out loud.”

 

changgu looks up with what he knows is his ‘you gotta be kidding me’ face but hongseok pushes him forward anyway. in those two seconds he decides it can’t hurt to try and looks into the cat’s eyes, still for a moment because he can’t think of anything to wish for.

 

those eyes do draw him in, like they’re looking through his soul and picking out all the hollow parts, all his wants and needs. he feels stripped clean, down to the bone, like everyone can see too much. he doesn’t want everyone to know what desires for most in the world, but he also knows it’s not much of a mystery.

 

the way he lives his life surrounded by no one other than his coworkers and occasionally the delivery guy when he orders too much pizza says enough. he’s spending his birthday in a witch’s lair with a guy he barely knows making wishes to a magical cat because he’s lonely.

 

because the first person that offered him companionship and something more than just a handshake in the morning and a ‘i’m pretending to like you’ smile decided it was a good idea. he tries not to think about what could of happened if hongseok wasn’t just a goofy boy with a nice heart, wanting to make him feel better about his own isolation.

 

what if hongseok was a conniving psychopath, luring him in, the perfect target. what then? surely changgu would have been dead by now. that might be a problem, he supposes, trusting people too easily, too fast because he has no one else.

 

it’s an easy wish to make.

 

_i don’t want to be alone anymore._

 

________________

 

it’s loud and dark, bright lights flashing only on the dance floor but the food is good. hongseok insists that they eat as they drink, has learned from mistakes of taking too many shots on an empty stomach.

 

changgu orders chicken fingers like an actual five year old but that’s what he’s craving and hongseok doesn’t bat an eye, orders the same thing. they pile their separate servings of fries together in the middle of the table and sip at their mai tais.

 

hongseok likes cocktails a lot, an insane amount. changgu saw the way his face lit up as he looked at the list of beverages and let gray haired man order for him again, gives him that satisfaction. by the time they finish their food they’ve had 2 and a half cocktails and changgu feels a slight buzz like the alcohol is working it’s way up, hasn’t hit him fully yet.

 

a table of what looks like college girls, collectively blonde and leering, order two double shots to their table. hongseok looks over at them with a face changgu hasn’t seen before. it kind of greasy to be honest, more so than his sort of smirk and he tips his head in a thank you.

 

they clink the small glasses and hongseok whispers, “never turn down free alcohol. even if it’s from the heteros.”

 

changgu giggles around the shot glass’ rim after they toast and he feels good. really good as the alcohol slowly burns through his system the way hongseok’s touch did. he feels warm all over, normally turns the color of cherries when he drinks, all red and splotchy, but he can’t bring himself to care. doesn’t care about much when hongseok’s smiling at him like that.

 

“let’s go dance.” hongseok says it almost four times until he’s yelling, changgu trying to read his lips. he has to raise his voice to be heard over the pop that’s started blaring like it’s purposely trying to drown him out.

 

“i don’t dance.” changgu shakes his head vehemently, body language screaming ‘no, no, no’ because even though he’s never been to a club before he knows, just knows that he’s bad.

 

“everybody dances.” hongseok rolls his eyes, pulls him along like he’s been doing all night and changgu’s body lets him. traitor. “and everyone on the dance floor is too preoccupied with basically having sex with clothes on and trying to not suffocate that they won’t be looking at you. i promise.”

 

it’s kind of hot, humid even though they’re inside, like the heat from all the sweaty bodies on the dance floor is just accumulating. the music sounds good though and changgu can feel the bass vibrating in his chest it’s that loud.

 

he squeaks, embarrassingly high pitched when hongseok places his hands on his hips and tugs him forward, swaying to the beat so naturally changgu gets mesmerized. they’re pressed chest to chest, changgu only really moving because hongseok is. it’s even hotter like this, bodies around them keeping them pressed close.

 

he’s feels his body tense up, can’t help it when hongseok’s completely in his personal space, so close he can feel the silk fabric of the other’s mans shirt rub over his chest. it’s like a match has been lit in his stomach, burning in a tingly, spark-filled way, like butterflies with their wings aflame are still fluttering there.

 

“you’re so stiff.” hongseok snorts, bringing a hand up to rub gently at his lower back and it’s so easy for changgu to relax into it, to let go. “you’re thinking too much. just listen to the music and do whatever feels comfortable.”

 

so changgu does. he wraps both of his arms around hongseok’s neck, pulling the tiniest bit so they’re only a breath away. and maybe it’s because he’s a little bit tipsy now and he can’t stop staring at hongseok and how glows underneath the neon lights. but he doesn’t even think twice when his hips start to move, rolling to the hip hop that’s penetrating their ears.

 

it’s a song changgu’s heard a few times in the record shop, a song that he likes, couldn’t stop tapping his foot to as he worked the register. there’s some seductive melty bass in it, it sounds like what changgu thinks making love sounds like and he doesn’t even realize that their hips are now grinding into each other.

 

changgu just doesn’t want to fuck this up, so he follows hongseok’s lead, side eying other people on the dance floor scanning for reference. a girl in a rainbow tube top lifts her leg slightly and rolls her hip, gripping the neck of her partner with one hand so changgu mirrors her, pressing them even tighter together.

 

their faces are inches apart, and they both blink in surprise when hongseok’s glasses start fogging up, the gray haired man scrunching his face like he forgot he had them on the first place. he stuffs them in his pocket, one hand still gripping changgu’s waist firmly.

 

hongseok’s biting his lip, eyes trained on changgu’s face with a surprisingly pleased expression, like he never expected changgu to actually dance, (at most maybe he’d do some sort of awkward shuffle). he never expected him to dance like _this._ changgu doesn’t know where this sudden confidence is coming from but he’s throwing caution to the wind. _tonight is all about feeling alive right?_

 

changgu is surprised at himself in all honesty because it’s hard to push down the embarrassment of someone seeing him and judging him, of looking foolish in front of hongseok. hongseok is confident and slightly cocky, knows how to have fun all the right ways at the right times. he’s like a character from a comic book changgu’s definitely read before and it comes again, the small feeling of maybe not being an enough.

 

in conclusion it’s fucking scary but he likes the look hongseok gets when he comes even closer, all wide puppy eyes and a pink tongue coming out to wet his bottom lip. though it’s quickly replaced with a smile and a hand in changgu’s back pocket.

 

changgu doesn’t think about how warm it is on the dance floor or the sweat that’s starting to form on his forehead. he lets hongseok turn him around and they dance like that for a while. it’s not grinding anymore, they simply sway in the middle of the crowd even though it’s some flashy fast pop song meant for bouncing.

 

it’s still warm, but not in a stifling, suffocating way. it’s more of a campfire, like the heat being given off is useful in some way. changgu’s gotten to see what hongseok looks like moist with sweat, and it’s absolutely sinful, gives him some bad, bad thoughts so all in all dancing is worth it.

 

hongseok wraps both arms around changgu’s waist, resting his chin on his shoulder and they sway, back and forth, back and forth. it feels all pink and rosy around them and maybe it’s the lights, the cocktails in his system. maybe it’s hongseok. but everything feels all reddish. different hues and shades.

 

like strawberries, ripe for the picking, like cotton candy, like the bubblegum he loved to chew when he was a kid even though the flavor died out in the first five minutes. it feels like cayenne pepper, hot, it’s _so hot_ , like licorice and red hots, candy he’s never liked but might be willing to try now.

 

hongseok smells like roses, even though they’re in a crowd packed with bodies, dripping with perspiration. he smells sweet still and changgu nuzzles back into his shoulder before he can stop it, feels hongseok curl down to meet him.

 

he doesn’t know when they’ve stopped swaying and are just standing there on the floor, but the song’s changed a few times and they still haven’t moved. changgu doesn’t want to say anything, just incase that’s all it takes for hongseok to snap back into reality, realize he doesn’t want to be this close with changgu, doesn’t want to be near changgu...like that.  

 

“i have to go to the bathroom.” hongseok mumbles into his neck, voice still steady despite the drinks they had and changgu just nods, watches him go.

 

he finds his way back to their table, wiping down his damp face with napkins, breathing harshly as he catches his breath. it’s cooler here, now they aren’t surrounded and sticky and he drops his face to the smooth tabletop. it feels so good against his flushed skin so he just stays like that for a while, huffing through pursed lips.

 

“changgu, you okay?” hongseok is rubbing his back again, too caring for his own good, and changgu’s not looking but he knows hongseok’s doing that face. that look of wide-eyed wonder, confusion, awe. the one that makes him look too much like a corgi or a playful golden retriever.

 

“yeah.” he finally says, lifting his head up, “was just hot.” he fans himself, looking at anything but hongseok’s exposed neck, beads of sweat glistening on his tan skin.

 

“i told you everybody dances.” hongseok grins smugly, leaning across the table to pinch at his cheek like a cooing grandma. “and you were pretty good at it if i do say so myself.”

 

“shut up, i probably looked ridiculous.” changgu groans, sweeping his hair off of his forehead, pushing his lips out in a sad pout.

 

hongseok is suddenly standing, hovering over his section of the booth, one muscled arm caging him in. “you looked stunning, dumbass.” he whispers, fingers grazing over his bare skin as he sweeps some of changgu’s stray hairs away. “good enough to eat.” he snags his bottom lip between his teeth, jerking his head. “now let’s get out of here.”

 

even though they had dinner at the club by the time they get off of the train and into the apartment building, they’re hungry again. they go to the second floor, push open changgu’s door and slump to the couch, dialing delivery. they order twice the amount changgu would normally buy for himself but at that moment he feels like he could eat his own weight in garlic bread.

 

“you only took me to four places.” changgu says suddenly after hongseok hangs up the phone, four fingers raised like he’s been counting the locations out on his hands.

 

“nuh uh.” hongseok shakes his head, on the floor by the couch now instead of on top of it, head resting right by changgu’s lap. at that angle hongseok is looking up at him, espresso eyes all gentle and soft. “this is the fifth place.”

 

“but it’s just my apartment.” changgu mumbles, shifting so hongseok can rest his cheek against his thigh, “this is the most boring place in the whole city probably. i think i had one guest over two years ago and they made me a yelp review page called ‘changgu’s shitty place’ and then left a comment about how dry and uneventful their visit was.”

 

“well they were clearly crazy because i’m having a lovely time so far.” hongseok nuzzles into his thigh and it feels so normal? for them. it doesn’t feel weird to be this close to hongseok even though he feels like his heart is going to beat it’s way out his chest. it feels natural somehow and changgu wonders if being squeezed together for an hour has anything to do with it.

 

“and plus, this is the most important place.” hongseok pulls himself on the couch, throwing half of his body onto changgu’s with a grunt. they rearrange themselves in a twist of bodies until hongseok is laying down flat, changgu sitting up in the crevice that his legs create. “you’re more comfortable here.”

 

in the shadows of changgu’s apartment, hongseok shines, melting into the couch as if he’s meant to be there. it’s cute, the way he gets so comfortable amongst the cushions that his eyes start to peacefully close, blinking them open like he feels changgu’s eyes on him. but changgu doesn’t get embarrassed and look away. he just keeps staring and staring like he’s trying to meld this moment into his memory, another precious one he doesn’t want to lose hold of.

 

“c’mere.” hongseok whispers, pulling at his arms until changgu’s toppling onto his chest, still between his legs. the sort of smirk comes out to play the moment changgu lands on top of him and there’s tension in the air, crackling around them like a whip.

 

changgu holds himself up with his elbows, avoids hongseok’s eyes, wonders if his heart racing is so loud the other can hear it. he can feel hongseok’s gaze on him, looking with no shame, and in that moment it’s like he completely sobers up. the only thing on his mind is just how did we get here? and don’t make a fool out of yourself.

 

“look at me.” hongseok voice is lower than changgu’s ever heard it and he snaps his head up immediately like a pet answering to a command. changgu watches his eyes darken, tongue peeking out and unconsciously mirrors the action. hongseok places a warm hand against his cheek and he leans into it without second thought, getting a pleased hum in return. changgu wants to please him, he thinks, he wants to make hongseok feel good.

 

something in the air has clearly shifted and changgu doesn’t know where the lines got blurred between two almost friends going out for some drinks to whatever _this_ is. he can’t deny that he wants more of it, just about craves it, shivers when hongseok rubs the pad of his thumb against changgu’s bottom lip.

 

hongseok rubs it back and forth, again and again until changgu’s opening his mouth, letting him slip the digit in, rubbing over his soft tongue. changgu sucks it deeper into his mouth, eyes fluttering closed and hears hongseok groan underneath him, a raspy heavy sound. the thumb is yanked out and replaced with two other fingers that changgu gasps around, swirling his tongue around them the moment they enter.

 

“did you have a good time tonight?” hongseok asks softly, other hand rucking up the back of changgu’s shirt to rub at his back again in the exact same spot. it’s a sweet little thing to ask but hongseok knows what he’s doing, knows that he can’t answer with his mouth stuffed full. it feels more intense than on the dance floor because it’s just them in his small quiet apartment, the slick soft sounds of changgu’s mouth around his fingers practically echoing.

 

“mhm.” is all he can manage. he can feel himself getting hard in his jeans and tries to ignore it for the time being but when hongseok pulls his fingers out and rakes his hand up changgu’s side, brushing his sensitive nipple, his hips stutter down without warning.

 

“fuck,” hongseok’s chest is heaving slightly, mouth parted in awe as he looks up at changgu. when he rolls his hips up in response changgu can’t help the small whimper that leaves him, that hard cock pressing against his, pure evidence that hongseok wants this just as much as he does.

 

“please, please, please.” he whines, doesn’t know what he’s asking for, drunk already on the taste of hongseok.

 

“please what, baby?” hongseok grips his jaw and makes changgu face him, leaning up to suck his bottom lip into his mouth, biting then letting go. “tell me what you want.”

 

changgu just kind of flounders, opening and closing his mouth a couple times because he doesn’t know what he wants, just knows he needs more. hongseok must think he’s taking too long to answer because he rucks changgu’s shirt up his chest, hot mouth sucking in a nipple.

 

changgu feels so sensitive already, hot all over as he jerks his hips down uncontrollably. hongseok teases his pink nipples with the tip of his tongue, making eye contact as he does so and the noises it pulls from his mouth are filthy. hongseok’s lips look gorgeous around his puffy nipple, and it’s like he knows changgu hasn’t been able to stop looking at them since they met. he sucks a bruising hickey onto the flesh right above changgu’s tattoo, smirking afterward, smug.

 

“want you.” changgu huffs, gripping hongseok’s wrist and pressing kisses to the back of his hand, up his arm, over the silk covering his shoulder. he presses tiny little pecks to his cheek, his nose, and his forehead, trying to convey everything he’s feeling in them. _thank you for making me feel alive, thank you, thank you, thank you._

 

hongseok closes his eyes and leans into them, accepts every kiss until changgu’s done and goes in for his own, connecting their lips. hongseok kisses like he does everything else, gently but with a fire behind it, a hand tangled in changgu’s hair. he tastes like alcohol and lime and everything changgu’s ever craved. when he pulls roughly changgu squeaks all high pitched into the kiss, and they giggle into each other’s mouths.

 

hongseok helps him out of his uncomfortable jeans, slides off his own and settles changgu’s body back on top, fingers digging into those pale thighs. hongseok lets out a breathy sigh when changgu’s hips start moving again and it feels so much better with those layers missing.

 

changgu buries his face into hongseok’s neck and when his hips snap up harshly, he bites down, whining. hongseok’s hands slid into his boxers to grip at his ass, or lack thereof. he didn’t say anything mean about it, just guides his hips into the motion, nails digging into the soft skin.

 

“the food will be here in 2 minutes so you gotta cum for me now or don’t cum at all.” hongseok teases, pinching his nipple _hard_ , hips rolling faster, harder. he nudges changgu’s head out of the way to lick at his collarbones, dragging his lips up to the pulse point, sucking so hard at the skin that when he lets go it’s already turning purple.

 

changgu’s surprise only lasts a few seconds as hongseok pushes his thigh between his legs, letting him grind down onto it. he wants to be embarrassed by how badly he wants to cum, how fast he might if hongseok keeps looking at him like that but he can’t bring himself to be. not when he can see how much hongseok wants him, feel the gray haired man’s heart beating just as fast as his own.

 

see hongseok wants him to take, to use his body to get himself off, cum in his boxers like a horny worked up teenager. and want hongseok wants, he gets.

 

“just like that, baby, grind on me just like that.” hongseok isn’t quiet either, keeps groaning these nasty words into his ear and each one feels like a shock to his system, tingling through his body from his head to his toes. “you want it so bad, don’t you sweetheart? wanna cum all over me, don’t you?”

 

changgu feels desperate for it, almost drooling in his pleasure, mouth hung open as he gets himself off. he’s making these whiny whinging noises, little ‘ah ah ah’s into hongseok’s mouth when he tugs his hair again, pulls him down to kiss. hongseok hand lingers around his throat, squeezing gently and he laughs triumphantly when changgu’s cock jumps in his boxer shorts. he’s not going to last long at all.

 

every thrust rubs his cock against hongseok’s muscled thigh, tensing under him, and when hongseok’s hand comes down with a ‘crack!’ on his ass his hips stutter. he’s almost sobbing as hongseok spanks him again and then again, hips jerking into the crevice hongseok’s given him to fuck.

 

he can’t do anything else but grind down, bucking frantically and he feels the coil in his stomach get tighter and tighter, moaning low in his throat. “yes, yes, wanna come, please hongseok.”

 

“you gonna make a mess, pretty?” hongseok teases, smacking him once more, flicking his nipple with his free hand. it’s too much and not enough all at once. there’s a damp patch on the front of his boxers that’s how much he’s dripping and when hongseok rubs a thumb over the head of his cock through the material he cries out.

 

“make me all messy, pretty boy.” hongseok pulls the waistband down just a tad, to keep toying with the heavy mushroom head. “please, i wanna see it.”

 

changgu’s whole body goes taut, as he strokes his hand over it one last time, hips jerking once, twice, and then he’s cumming. hongseok guides him through it, peppering kisses all over his shoulders as his body bows.

 

“you did so good, darling. so good.” the gray haired man hums, rubbing his back and they both go stock still when the doorbell rings like they forgot they ordered in the first place.

 

hongseok slides out from under him, and answers the door, only his head and neck peeking out through the small crack in the door. changgu knows hongseok doesn’t give much of a fuck about modesty so when the takeout bag is practically shoved through the gap he knows its for him. he’s still panting, cum streaked up his chest, sweaty and messy and it’s sweet thinking that hongseok doesn’t want anyone else to see him like this.

 

hongseok uses the paper towels from the takeout bag to wipe changgu down, tickling him until he snorts when he’s all clean. they sit on the floor and stuff their faces with thai food, feeding each other every couple of minutes like some love-sick couple stuck in a honeymoon phase. it works for them though.

 

hongseok rests half of his weight on changgu when they finish eating, rubbing his full belly with over exaggerated groans. he unlocks his phone and holds it right in front of changgu’s face, time reading 11:59.

 

“happy birthday.” hongseok whispers, pressing a big slobbery kiss to his cheek, laughing hysterically when changgu’s whole face scrunches up.

 

when the clock strikes twelve hongseok’s still there, finishing changgu’s leftover birthday cake even though he complained about being stuffed five minutes prior. his cheeks puff up, full of food and when he swallows, all doe eyed, changgu kisses him.

 

he still tastes like rum, but also chocolate icing and coca cola. he kisses back, smiling into it and then they’re both smiling, looking like total dorks. they watch reruns of yu gi oh because they can and cuddle on the couch they’ve christened, talking in between commercials. it turns out hongseok likes being little spoon, can’t whistle, and has a thing for awkward shy boys with bad people skills.

 

hongseok reaches for his pants that are still on the floor and retrieves something from the pocket, pressing it into changgu’s hand silently. it’s round and smooth against his palm and when he brings his hand up he sees the crystal, aventurine, all green and pretty and magical just for him.

 

changgu says a tiny touched thank you and hongseok waves it off like it’s not a big deal so they sink into the couch once more. it's quiet but it's also comfortable, not empty the way changgu is used to. 

 

“did you steal this?” 

 

“maybe.” hongseok muffles his chuckles against changgu’s arm and it’s the best way, the _only_ way he wants to end his birthdays from now on.

 

eventually hongseok falls asleep, making little snuffling noises against changgu’s collarbone and he hums, gazing out of the window where the moon shines bright. he isn’t surprised when a shooting star glides it’s way past, hugging hongseok that slightest bit tighter. he doesn't have to wish on it. the longer he lays there, hongseok in his arms he feels like he's doing more than simply existing for the first time in years. 

 

he takes a deep breath in and it feels like tiny spring flowers are starting to bloom inside of him; exuberant, vivacious. 

 

_alive._

 

 

 

  


 

**Author's Note:**

> this one of the longest things i've written so far?? i hope i got the plot across the way i wanted it to and that you all enjoyed this lil one shot thank uuu


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